Photo by Cindy Pazyra
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Thanks to Mark Snyder, host of "Snyder's Stoughton," for inviting me on the show to talk about "Kisses From Dolce" and preventing/responding to child sexual abuse. We taped an excellent, thoughtful interview today which will air locally this Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 7 PM on channel 9. Viewers who would like to order the book may contact me at KissesFromDolce@gmail.com or find it at Amazon.com.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I am honored to share with you that Darkness To Light has included "Kisses From Dolce" on its prevention resource reading list for children! You can link to it here (and peruse the D2L website at the same time)!
Thank you to local TV producer, Roy Cohen, for inviting me to appear on Comcast's "We The People" show, hosted by Steve Fradkin, to discuss child sexual abuse and "Kisses From Dolce." When Roy told me they wanted to interview me for an hour I was concerned: would I have enough of interest to say for such a long show? Well, yes, I did! We did; Steve had some thoughtful and engaging questions/ideas that easily sparked conversation. Before I knew it, the hour was done!
I am relatively new to the interview business and still have a lot to learn about making sure I say what is important to me. Two things I omitted were: 1) a nod to my ATC Sisterhood associates who have helped the Darkness To Light effort up here take wing and, 2) the important point that a % of every new book sale benefits our D2L Workshop Fund at ATC Sisterhood! So to all readers who are here as a result of the show, please take note!
You can link right here to Darkness To Light, Amazon.com and our ATC Sisterhood D2L Workshop schedule. If you would like to purchase a book, schedule a prevention workshop or contact me for any reason, you may reach me at KissesFromDolce@gmail.com.
The show we taped will air in Stoughton this Sunday @ 6PM, Monday @ 8PM and Tuesday @5PM. It airs in Easton Monday @ 4 PM and Tuesday @ 4:30 PM. I hope you will watch it and let me know what you think!
I am relatively new to the interview business and still have a lot to learn about making sure I say what is important to me. Two things I omitted were: 1) a nod to my ATC Sisterhood associates who have helped the Darkness To Light effort up here take wing and, 2) the important point that a % of every new book sale benefits our D2L Workshop Fund at ATC Sisterhood! So to all readers who are here as a result of the show, please take note!
You can link right here to Darkness To Light, Amazon.com and our ATC Sisterhood D2L Workshop schedule. If you would like to purchase a book, schedule a prevention workshop or contact me for any reason, you may reach me at KissesFromDolce@gmail.com.
The show we taped will air in Stoughton this Sunday @ 6PM, Monday @ 8PM and Tuesday @5PM. It airs in Easton Monday @ 4 PM and Tuesday @ 4:30 PM. I hope you will watch it and let me know what you think!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friends. There would have been no way for me to navigate my road without them. Healing is a process, at times more intense than others, and each step of the way I've been surrounded by great people. They all have their own lives, their own struggles, but, for the most part, when I've needed them, they've been there, offering an ear, some sage advice or a supportive shoulder to lean on.
Putting together "Kisses From Dolce" was more than creative process, it was an opportunity to look at some old beliefs and challenge them, creating confidence where there once was none. That process took time and, because of that, the book took longer than it otherwise might have. In the end, I did the book, as Sinatra used to sing, my way. My friends' support allowed me self-acceptance, helped give me that confidence.
Today, navigating the business of getting the book out there to do its work, is no different. I still need sage advice, not only from friends, but from folks in-the-know about such efforts. Carrie, who knows the social work world; Lynn, who knows public relations, and David, with years in business and an MBA, my business guru. Professionals all, they are also my friends.
I'm prompted to write this piece after consulting with David about yet another business question.
Despite the fact that I used to be an accountant, my head just doesn't think in business mode any more (if it ever really did in the first place). I do think about opportunities, possibilities; I contact folks I believe could use the book or might help others find the book. I want to meet and speak with as many folks working in CSA prevention and resolution as I can. But I don't always see that through a business lens. David does. And he usually reminds me so.
What is fascinating to me, though, is how that reminding, coaching, teaching, has changed over the last months. In the beginning, David could be tougher on me (and I don't judge him for that, it was his way of making sure I understood and would get the job done); now, though he has his standards, his approach has softened.
A few months ago, as we sat at lunch, David asked me a simple question, something as a business owner I should have known but did not. I was mortified at not knowing the answer and said so. I knew that not knowing something so basic about my own operation was not a good thing. We sat in silence for a bit until I looked over at him and reiterated that I was "mortified" at not knowing the answer. I just don't think like that anymore, I had said, feeling bad, having trouble even looking him straight in the eye. He was quiet for a moment and then, softly, thoughtfully, explained that, maybe, if I did still think that way, I never would have written the book. I looked over at him. He got it. He got me. And I got a sensitive, supportive remark from this veteran businessman that allowed me self-acceptance. It was the remark of a friend.
Sometimes, in response to a question I'll pose, David will write or call and begin the conversation with "Ah, grasshopper!" his nod to the old TV series, "Kung Fu" and the wise David Carradine character addressing his underling. He'll often remind me, when I become anxious or flustered about the business piece of the book, that I'm just a "podunk author from a no-name town!" Instantly, I'm more at ease, things seem more in perspective and I can move ahead less intimidated.
We laugh, I listen, sometimes we disagree; I solicit his advice and respect it and he'll still, thank goodness, call and strongly make his points about what he believes I need to do to keep my book out there and strong, growing No Secrets No Shame, hopefully helping others. But the most important lesson I've learned is that, in the end, when all is said and done, I must do my business, and my life, my way. Weighing great professional advice gets balanced with increasing reliance on the self-respect that's been so long in the making and that can still be a struggle. Such confidence and self-respect might never have come my way without the support of my great friends along this twisting, turning healing road. And I am so grateful.
Putting together "Kisses From Dolce" was more than creative process, it was an opportunity to look at some old beliefs and challenge them, creating confidence where there once was none. That process took time and, because of that, the book took longer than it otherwise might have. In the end, I did the book, as Sinatra used to sing, my way. My friends' support allowed me self-acceptance, helped give me that confidence.
Today, navigating the business of getting the book out there to do its work, is no different. I still need sage advice, not only from friends, but from folks in-the-know about such efforts. Carrie, who knows the social work world; Lynn, who knows public relations, and David, with years in business and an MBA, my business guru. Professionals all, they are also my friends.
I'm prompted to write this piece after consulting with David about yet another business question.
Despite the fact that I used to be an accountant, my head just doesn't think in business mode any more (if it ever really did in the first place). I do think about opportunities, possibilities; I contact folks I believe could use the book or might help others find the book. I want to meet and speak with as many folks working in CSA prevention and resolution as I can. But I don't always see that through a business lens. David does. And he usually reminds me so.
What is fascinating to me, though, is how that reminding, coaching, teaching, has changed over the last months. In the beginning, David could be tougher on me (and I don't judge him for that, it was his way of making sure I understood and would get the job done); now, though he has his standards, his approach has softened.
A few months ago, as we sat at lunch, David asked me a simple question, something as a business owner I should have known but did not. I was mortified at not knowing the answer and said so. I knew that not knowing something so basic about my own operation was not a good thing. We sat in silence for a bit until I looked over at him and reiterated that I was "mortified" at not knowing the answer. I just don't think like that anymore, I had said, feeling bad, having trouble even looking him straight in the eye. He was quiet for a moment and then, softly, thoughtfully, explained that, maybe, if I did still think that way, I never would have written the book. I looked over at him. He got it. He got me. And I got a sensitive, supportive remark from this veteran businessman that allowed me self-acceptance. It was the remark of a friend.
Sometimes, in response to a question I'll pose, David will write or call and begin the conversation with "Ah, grasshopper!" his nod to the old TV series, "Kung Fu" and the wise David Carradine character addressing his underling. He'll often remind me, when I become anxious or flustered about the business piece of the book, that I'm just a "podunk author from a no-name town!" Instantly, I'm more at ease, things seem more in perspective and I can move ahead less intimidated.
We laugh, I listen, sometimes we disagree; I solicit his advice and respect it and he'll still, thank goodness, call and strongly make his points about what he believes I need to do to keep my book out there and strong, growing No Secrets No Shame, hopefully helping others. But the most important lesson I've learned is that, in the end, when all is said and done, I must do my business, and my life, my way. Weighing great professional advice gets balanced with increasing reliance on the self-respect that's been so long in the making and that can still be a struggle. Such confidence and self-respect might never have come my way without the support of my great friends along this twisting, turning healing road. And I am so grateful.
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